Front of the Line Reporting

Front of the Line Reporting

Justin Wilson

Every day, Lakota West High School is plagued with a crime that could only be described as evil and corrupting. The ones guilty are everywhere and anywhere —  in the hallways, in locker bays, and in your classrooms. If you want to find them, then pay close attention next time you’re in the lunchroom. Specifically, the lunch line. Look at the person in front of you, then look down at the ground, look back up. Is the back of the head you saw at first the back of the head you see now? Well,  if not then you’ve just been the victim of a crime —  line cutting.

Lunch is 30 minutes long, and whatever time we have is precious and valuable. How quickly you arrive in the lunch line can determine how long you will have to wait.  However, many people choose to cut into the front of the line without waiting at all. Dastardly, I know. However, that is just one of many methods people have developed for the purpose of line cutting. Another strategy is buddy-hopping, people coming into the lunchroom, and cutting into the line wherever one of their friends is. 

During my investigation, I interviewed a selection of people who have both suffered and witnessed the crimes. 


“I mean, I guess it sucks, but who am I to say anything about it?” 

“I hate it.”

“One second I was on my phone and about in the kitchen, and the next thing I knew it looked like half the JV football team appeared in front of me.”

“Literally, it took like 20 minutes to just get to the lunchroom because people are always like, you know, cutting and stuff, it was really annoying”

“They know what they’re doing but they just walk up and act like nothing happened.”


After hearing the thoughts and feelings of these afflicted students, I asked them “Have you ever tried to say anything to them?” and they responded as follows:

“Hell no, the dude is committed to Ohio State”

“I told him to? He’s my friend, why would I be mad about it?”


“I just cut them back usually”

“I mean I don’t usually care too much about it —  I can always just go to the vending machines if I really need to.”


With the witnesses and victims interviewed, I had but one job left, interviewing a line-cutter. The interview went as follows:


Can you please tell me your name and grade level?

“My name is [Redacted] and I am a [Redacted]”

Can you tell me if you have ever cut in the lunch line?

“Yeah, I have. But I mean like, so does everyone else”

So you admit to cutting in line?

“Yeah, that’s what I just said”

Are you aware of how this has affected others?

“Do I look like I give a *&^%  if someone’s upset if I cut them in line?”

Unfortunately, you don’t, —  fitting for a criminal though

“Dude it’s not like you’re [Redacted], all I did was cut people in line”.

People who have precious time, which is wasted when people like you cut them.

“[Redacted] you literally cut me in line today, I saw you go up to [Redacted] and just start talking and whatnot.”


Unfortunately, at that point, I had run out of time in the interview. Having finished researching and digging, I was left with more questions than answers; How will we ever put a stop to this? Does the administration not care for the common good? Why do PB & J’s cost $2.50? Will anyone ever stand up to the perpetrators? Whatever the outcome, I will be sure to be your firsthand reporter. Thank you for reading this edition of Front of the Line.