Batmartin #2


Kieran Quebman

This story is a continuation of an ongoing series. You may want to read the previous edition to properly understand the plot.


We open up our story a few weeks after we left off. If you recall, Martin had just made the decision to become a high-school vigilante superhero. After watching several sewing how-to videos on Youtube and taking a trip to Jo-Ann Fabrics, Martin stitched together his homemade superhero outfit, careful not to let his parents hear the curse words uttered after pricking himself in the hand. His plan was finally coming to fruition. Standing in the mirror dressed in his superhero outfit, Martin envisions what is to come. 


The next day at school, Martin is extra jittery. In every class, his mind is racing, relentlessly analyzing possible situations where he could expose injustice and become a hero. During 6th bell World Lit, Martin’s excitement is too much to contain. Excusing himself to “go to the restroom” he stops by his locker to grab his superhero outfit. After forcing himself into the spandex unitard, his dream is finally fulfilled. As he takes his first steps out of the bathroom into the empty hallway, he takes a moment to stand tall with his fists on his hip, cape flapping in the imaginary wind behind him. Now, finally, Martin Philip has become the one and only BatMartin. 


Martin has kept his ear to the ground recently and heard that a new vape kingpin has set up shop in the 2nd floor A hallway bathroom. Martin knows he can’t just waltz in without a plan, that would be too dangerous. Still standing in the middle of an empty hallway, he closes his eyes and begins to think. “Aha! I’ve got it!” Martin exclaims. A teacher enters the hallway, gives a “Shhhh!” and closes his door. Martin decides the best way to go about dishing out justice is to set a trap and wait. But first, he needs some supplies.


The Vapist, as the kingpin will be known from this point on, likes to hang out in the 2nd floor A bathroom during XH, serving customers as they stop by. Before the bell rings to end 1st period, BatMartin leaves class to set his trap. He leaves the bait on the floor outside the stall, and positions himself on top of the toilet, ready to strike. BatMartin’s legs begin to tire from standing in the same uncomfortable position so long, but the sacrifice is necessary to exact justice. 


A few minutes after the start of XH, BatMartin hears footsteps and the sound of Yung Zip playing out of earbuds. His heart rate spikes. The Vapist enters the bathroom and immediately sees the bait on the ground. “Aw s*%t!” the Vapist says. “Some free Strawberry Kiwi Mr. Fogs!” Initially skeptical he takes a minute to examine the surroundings. After glancing around the bathroom, The Vapist approaches the box and bends down to pick it up. At this moment, BatMartin’s adrenaline is pumping like never before.  He throws a fishing net from Bass Pro Shops over the edge of the stall and screams “Gotcha scumbag!”. He runs out of the stall and tackles the Vapist, handcuffing him with a double lock. The Vapist protests, yelling for help, but after a moment, accepts his fate. BatMartin knows if he stays too long, the attention drawn from the noise will compromise his identity. Leaving the Vapist tied up in the net and handcuffed on the ground, he leaves to return to class as if nothing had happened. 


After changing out of his costume, Martin returns to class. His teacher asks what took him so long, and in response, Martin offers the excuse, “my stomach isn’t feeling good.” Little does the teacher know, Martin’s stomach has never felt better. He sits at his desk and starts back on his work, unable to wipe the grin off his face.